Posed Mortem™ Mat
Die Flexible. Leave a Hot Corpse.
You’ve heard of corpse pose. Now meet the mat that lives for it.
Posed Mortem™ is your final resting place between sets, sweat, and soul-searching squats. Designed for the brutally self-aware and the spiritually dehydrated, this mat doesn’t whisper affirmations—it bellows “EMBRACE THE VOID” while you foam roll your regrets.
Built for yoga, HIIT, stretching, or whatever unholy fusion of fitness you're into this week, Posed Mortem™ doesn’t judge—because it’s already seen what’s inside you. And frankly? It’s metal as hell.
Specs & Unholy Features:
☠️ Dead-grip texture to keep you grounded while your soul leaves your body during planks
☠️ Shock-absorbing cushion for knees, elbows, and spontaneous floor screams
☠️ Wipes clean of chalk, sweat, and the echoes of failed New Year’s resolutions
This is not your average mat. This is your tombstone of transformation.
Lie down, stretch out, and become one with the darkness
Posed Mortem™ — RIP to your comfort zone.
Bury the weak. Resurrect the beast.
Details:
.: One size: 24″ x 70" (61cm x 178 cm)
.: Microfiber suede top
.: Natural rubber bottom
.: Edge to edge print
.: Includes carrying strap
.: 0.12" (3mm) thick for extra stability
Care Instructions:
.: Spot clean with soapy warm water and a wash cloth
.: For longer-lasting color vibrancy, please keep the mat away from direct sunlight
Posed Mortem™ Mat
Die Flexible. Leave a Hot Corpse.
You’ve heard of corpse pose. Now meet the mat that lives for it.
Posed Mortem™ is your final resting place between sets, sweat, and soul-searching squats. Designed for the brutally self-aware and the spiritually dehydrated, this mat doesn’t whisper affirmations—it bellows “EMBRACE THE VOID” while you foam roll your regrets.
Built for yoga, HIIT, stretching, or whatever unholy fusion of fitness you're into this week, Posed Mortem™ doesn’t judge—because it’s already seen what’s inside you. And frankly? It’s metal as hell.
Specs & Unholy Features:
☠️ Dead-grip texture to keep you grounded while your soul leaves your body during planks
☠️ Shock-absorbing cushion for knees, elbows, and spontaneous floor screams
☠️ Wipes clean of chalk, sweat, and the echoes of failed New Year’s resolutions
This is not your average mat. This is your tombstone of transformation.
Lie down, stretch out, and become one with the darkness
Posed Mortem™ — RIP to your comfort zone.
Bury the weak. Resurrect the beast.
Details:
.: One size: 24″ x 70" (61cm x 178 cm)
.: Microfiber suede top
.: Natural rubber bottom
.: Edge to edge print
.: Includes carrying strap
.: 0.12" (3mm) thick for extra stability
Care Instructions:
.: Spot clean with soapy warm water and a wash cloth
.: For longer-lasting color vibrancy, please keep the mat away from direct sunlight
