The Flexcorcist™ Mat
Release Your Demons. Then hold for 3 breaths.
You’ve entered the circle. Not of trust— but of torment, transformation, and maybe some light stretching. The Flexcorcist is not your average woo-woo yoga mat, blessed by moonlit-charged crystals and marketed by women named Sage or Star. This is the mat for metalheads, gym rats, and sweat-summoners who want to exorcise tight hips and existential dread.
Whether you’re deadlifting your trauma, CrossFitting your way through an identity crisis, or just trying to survive your third “active recovery” day, The Flexcorcist is your loyal (and slightly cursed) training ground.
Features:
🜂 Textured grip for when the demons try to drag you into a lunge and you say "Not today Satan"
🜁 Heavy-duty durability for HIIT, yoga, kettlebell carnage, and sweat-soaked stretching rituals
🜃 Black-as-your-soul design with custom artwork that says “Namaste Mother-Fucker”
🜄 Wipes clean with water, blood, or tears (your choice)
This mat doesn’t come with a guided meditation—it is the meditation.
One scream-filled squat at a time.
The Flexcorcist™ — Possess your body. Expel your excuses.
No OM. Just OMG.
Warning: May cause spontaneous self-actualization, mild levitation, and an uncontrollable urge to blast doom metal during Pilates.
Details:
.: One size: 24″ x 70" (61cm x 178 cm)
.: Microfiber suede top
.: Natural rubber bottom
.: Edge to edge print
.: Includes carrying strap
.: 0.12" (3mm) thick for extra stability
Care Instructions:
.: Spot clean with soapy warm water and a wash cloth
.: For longer-lasting color vibrancy, please keep the mat away from direct sunlight
The Flexcorcist™ Mat
Release Your Demons. Then hold for 3 breaths.
You’ve entered the circle. Not of trust— but of torment, transformation, and maybe some light stretching. The Flexcorcist is not your average woo-woo yoga mat, blessed by moonlit-charged crystals and marketed by women named Sage or Star. This is the mat for metalheads, gym rats, and sweat-summoners who want to exorcise tight hips and existential dread.
Whether you’re deadlifting your trauma, CrossFitting your way through an identity crisis, or just trying to survive your third “active recovery” day, The Flexcorcist is your loyal (and slightly cursed) training ground.
Features:
🜂 Textured grip for when the demons try to drag you into a lunge and you say "Not today Satan"
🜁 Heavy-duty durability for HIIT, yoga, kettlebell carnage, and sweat-soaked stretching rituals
🜃 Black-as-your-soul design with custom artwork that says “Namaste Mother-Fucker”
🜄 Wipes clean with water, blood, or tears (your choice)
This mat doesn’t come with a guided meditation—it is the meditation.
One scream-filled squat at a time.
The Flexcorcist™ — Possess your body. Expel your excuses.
No OM. Just OMG.
Warning: May cause spontaneous self-actualization, mild levitation, and an uncontrollable urge to blast doom metal during Pilates.
Details:
.: One size: 24″ x 70" (61cm x 178 cm)
.: Microfiber suede top
.: Natural rubber bottom
.: Edge to edge print
.: Includes carrying strap
.: 0.12" (3mm) thick for extra stability
Care Instructions:
.: Spot clean with soapy warm water and a wash cloth
.: For longer-lasting color vibrancy, please keep the mat away from direct sunlight
Image 1 of 5
Image 2 of 5
Image 3 of 5
Image 4 of 5
Image 5 of 5